tomorrow :)

yeah. tomorrow will be a fancy day.
i have forgot all unhappy things happened on today. :( just let it stay beside, after enjoy tomorrow only talk bout that. ;]
woah, tomorrow is hari koperasi. muahaa. prefect selling juice. and i need to duty.
anyway. i was vry excited. muahaa.
and i bought rm15 coupons. i scare it's not enough. :(

this is good enough to describe what i had thinkin today.

haha. i can't sleep.
buhbye. xP

bla bla black sheep

my dad refuse to sign my result sheet. LOL. what the.
guys tell me, did my exam results suck?
i get 18 per 46 pupils in 4s6. honestly, i think this is not bad ad right? (maybe?)
but my dad said a lots to me tonight. he said, you're more useless-er now.

that means before that i very 'useful'? :)

i think i understand my dad's feeling now. really. don't want say i chuan la, honestly, my results when primary school is better than now hundred times.
so if my parents cant accept this, i can understand them. true.

dad, mum, sorry.

i felt sorry.
when i form 2, i do my best for study, even though i get shita results too. but i think it was better than now one.
i think about this that time: i do well for study, it's just for parents.
i just don't want they feel disappointed. but i don't scare if they want scold me.
so i pia in every exam. but i never concentrated on study when in class.

due to this, because i get too much stress, i get lebih shita results. and i cried down.
since that day, i figure out something.

if i put too much effort on something, once i can't get the same results with my effort, it sucks.

if i nvr do well on it, so if i get shit results, it was okay.

at least it's better than first one.
but now i'm clear.

i work hard for myself. 

but not parents, friends, or lovers.
all are just bla bla black sheep.

damn. all nonsense.

results

not 'flying colours' but 'crying mothers'
:(

parents' thinking will influence my thinking also. i failed 3 subs, add maths, sejarah and phy. i think my results is quite 'okay'. it means bad but it's acceptable.

but unfortunately, my parents seem like not think so, obviously.

i think my results are just same with careen's. but she don't think so, she think hers is better than me. she talked these in front of my mum. LOL. whatever.

 i don't care.

but you know my mum was so care. and my dad too.

after back to home, dad said he don't want to sign my result sheet. SO WHAT?!

i don't mind.

honestly, i very mind it. :( i don't care my 'flying colours' or 'crying mothers'. i just upset of their expression and their mind to me. WHAT'S IT MEANS?


i don't hope to get this type of results too. what the frog you all blame me.

when they try to scold me, i just listen music with headset. and pretend reading comics.

i know dad and mum you all are disappointed of my results. i just speechless. i know. because i never do my best. so nothing else i can say.

that's why. if i never put my best effort on it, i will not get upset of my results.

but what i'm thinking is different with you all. i figure out, 'RESULTS ARE NOT EVERYTHING.'


if you still don't happy for my results, what can i do? it's just nothing. i can't stop your minds for thinking that and to be so pessimistic.

what's going on?

:(. long time not update. sorry.

emm. i think i tomorrow may post something bout father's day. today i was so tired and exhausted.

my leg can't function. i can't run and jump. thursday, i'd been punished by senior, that's squat and stand (拉耳朵) for 30 times. wth. actually senior want us to do this for 50 times, but i think he see we're so pity, then give us some discount. :P. but the next day(today), my legs are disable to move ad. LOL. so shit la.

today was hari ibubapa. parents were forced 'invited' to schul, to take their son's or daughter's results. and talked nonsense to class teachers.

my mum reached, and i just asked her to sit down and take the number. and then i go around whole block B with careen. so interesting couple. LOL.

well, this was so obviously, careen had something she needed to do. this is a secret, of cause. me too. but my case wasn't as serious as hers.:P

then we walked the stairs up and down. i can feel that my legs weren't mine ad. :'(


our teacher was so 长气. but i don't know why she talked less to my mum. and she speakin english LOL. i was so stress. cause i know my pronunciation was poor enough. :(.

and i know i talked at her class. but less talked in her lessons. cause i scare. :P luckily, she didn't complaint this to my mum.

but she said, i'm seem little busy and active. LOL. are you sure?

i'm sure i'm not. but seem like my mum was so strongly agree with my teachers. damn it.

in the car, mum told dad what teacher said. of cause, dad agree with them too. what the.

i just to be silent. cause i was so hate to argue with them. esp for prefect's things. i think i ad less active on it.but why they still complain many. so greedy nya.

and then we go eat mcd.


feelings after talking nonsense?

my legs are so tired. :'(

the moment

today, we went to find en.chia. for something. after went out from his office, i was no mood. i didn't feel angry, i didn't feel sad. i just upset. i just felt want to run away from this school. and run back to my house, and hide myself in my bedroom, open the speaker with the loudest music.

when talked with buddies, i can't say anything. my mouth can't be open. once i try to say something, before the words come out from my mouth, i felt my tears almost come out from my eyes.
so i close my eyes, and i could see a better day :P
i'm useless. guys u know that. i hate myself.

when i saw they crying, i more hate myself. i'm their friends. but i can't do anything. and i don't know how to comfort my buddies. i just want to be together with them. hope they'll know, i'm always stand by them.

taylor swift's sound make me want to cry.

actually it was only a small case, but it was related to all my buddies. that's why i so care. sometime i just want to fight for reasons. there were too many things happened without any convincing reasons.
i don't want my buddies cried, and complained or felt unhappy but they can't do anything. but what can i do?

f.t. island's turns now. their song sounds support me to fight. :)

then now leehom's turn. :)

cheer up my friends :D

even if the sky is falling down

down by jay sean. even though this is quite old song :P, but i still will get dancy when listen this :X i love the rhythm so much.
now listening his do you remember, well, no comment for this song.

nothing to post lea, so sad.

my face had 'pop' some pimples lea, so sad. WTH. i hate them muchie. it's really so obviously. even though my skin colour is yellowish brown (?), but really vry obviously leaa. :'( CRY DIE ME (forgive my language please)

my dad taught me some 人生大道理s just now. it's great. and meaningful. but i think he's really disappointed on my shita results. ya, i'm right.
he's sayin bout some rich family. it's sensitive, but really accurate, make me strongly agree with him.
He said his friend is too rich (then donate me la). and his sons were somebody like 败家子. they wasting his daddy's money. and play ps when work, and they did many rubbish works.

and then i told him, so far i don't have any target in my live. i don't have any idea. and you know my iq was so kinda shit. before today, he may told me, 'don't sia sui kan your family ah.' but so rarely, today he didn't.
he said, 'san, you know you must be hardwork. you just cant always rely on your parents and family. you should do everything urself if you wan to be successful.'
i was so touched after listen these. i think you all will not understand my feeling, except for those buddies really understand how my dad treat his daughter.

i just wondering how's my life after graduation. i always tell my parents,'bukan saya tak boleh, saja saya tak mau. 'quite annoying sentence, i know. ;P i think this only can be a nice excuse. :'(
but sometime, i believe that if someone really want to put his/her effort on something, he/she really can get the same results compared with their efforts. except for LOVE. :D

Did i talking a speech? LOL.

tomorrow, teachers may give us our phy's and chem's results. so terrible man. even though i know i can't change the truth. tomorrow sure will be a INTERESTING day.
going to my bed. Night friends.

and thx for looking my nonsense post LOL

i love to being busy

may be. :P

oh, i miss my buddies so much. and the assembly. and the teachers. and the senior. and the canteen. and the bus. OH MY GOD. i'm so sure that i'm mad.
but so shit, i only realize i have not touch my bio exc and add maths. wth. tomorrow sure will be a stupid busy day. oww.
tomorrow, i'm going to give presents to my friends, cha boon and may yee. :D well, their bday had passed. :X.
btw the gifts are so cin cai. -_-. WTH. it's so simple. but i hav waste so much time on them. so scare, i'm worrying are they like it? haih...

cham la, so pity me.
i can't fall in to my sweet dream lea, even though now still early, 9:36 pm. the time i go to my bed in the holiday was about 12 o'clock or 1 o'clock. i think this is 'normal' for my schoolmates.
and i haven cut my nails yet. really not willing to cut my nails. they're only 1 cm long.

good bye pretty nails :'(

and the programme i want to watch is coming to show on 8tv soon. hooray.
i have watch that before- 个人取向. it's funny xDD korean drama. my family don't set astro. but it's enough. :)
and the korean drama 玛丽外宿中 also is coming soon, yeah. i'm not the one who was crazy on korean handsome artist or what. i'm just crazy for LEEHOM.

so hi buddies. you'll see me soon :)